Mead and beans

Have you ever been to a meadery? I bet you haven’t. I wonder if you even know what a meadery is? Well, dear reader, a meadery is a medieval-themed restaurant that serves entirely fried food and mayonnaise-based salads. Oh, and mead, a traditional honey based wine-type of drink. I visited one such establishment on Friday evening and wish to give no further comment other than to say I have never felt so sick after a meal as I did that night. And my trousers stank so forcibly of ‘fried’ that I had a recurrence of my nausea the following morning when I put them on to go for breakfast. Utterly grim.

In fact I had a weekend of food that was almost entirely bereft of any fruit or vegetable and returned home last night desperate for a fresh, nutritious meal. Fortunately for me we had leftovers from last week’s black bean chilli, and it was the absolute perfect meal. As promised, here is the recipe:

Black bean and sweet potato chilli

1 large onion
3 cloves garlic
1 tsp cumin
½ tsp ground coriander
1 tsp oregano
½ tsp cinnamon
Chilli flakes (to taste)
1 tbsp chipotle paste
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp vinegar
800g cooked black beans
2 x tin tomatoes
1 large sweet potato, diced
1 tin sweetcorn
Bunch chopped coriander

Soften the onions and garlic in a small amount of oil
Add the spices and fry for 2 minutes
Add the remaining ingredients, except the coriander, cover and cook for 30 mins, or until the potato is tender
Add the coriander.

We usually eat it out of a bowl with crushed tortilla chips, grated cheese and a dollop of sour cream.  Personally I like mine quite spicy, it somehow feels like it’s better for you that way, but you can make it almost entirely unspiced for smaller people, or complete wusses.  *waves at Toby*

'I added a little sausage'

Today I am perusing the web trying to hone a cauliflower soup recipe. I had cauliflower soup once in a restaurant which was so unbelievably good that I am now on a one woman crusade to replicate it. So it sounds a bit dull, I accept the criticism. Anyhow this has lead me to stumble upon some of the best examples of a practice I call 'recipejacking'. You will undoubtedly be familiar with this phenomenon if you ever read recipes that encourage readers to provide feedback. Much of the time you get useful comments on perhaps reducing the cooking time, or offering alternatives for hard to find ingredients. Sometimes readers will feedback saying that they didn't have any double cream so substituted with creme fraiche or similar. This is all FINE. The remaining commenters however...

'This recipe was great, I made a few changes. I didn't add any garlic as my mum is allergic to it. Also left out the cream and instead added coriander, basil and a can of tomatoes'

Hmm? So you basically made some soup that shared an ingredient with the original and thought you'd tell us all about it here? Congratulations, you utter moron.

'Really not keen on this soup. I don't like cauliflower so we subbed for carrots. Totally bland flavour. DO NOT MAKE'

How generous of you to take time out to warn us about this terrible recipe THAT YOU MADE UP.

But this is my favourite comment I found today, I don't think it needs any further comment from me.

If you are after simple this is it. I added garlic, jalapeños, fresh tomatoes, creamed corn and sausage

*sigh*

So my meander around the detritus of the Internet commenter has resulted in a recipe that I have high hopes for. As always I have taken the best from my research and this is what we have.

Cauliflower Soup
 1 large onion
2 cloves garlic
2 rashers of unsmoked streaky bacon
1 head of cauliflower
Parmesan rind
400ml Low salt chicken stock (or regular stock made with extra water)
200ml milk


Chop and sautée the onion until softened (in butter I reckon is best)
Snip up the bacon and add to the onions, cook until the fat starts to render
Add garlic and cook for 2 mins
Chop and add the cauliflower, Parmesan and stock.
Simmer for 20 mins or until the cauliflower is very tender
Add the milk, remove the parmesan rind and blend until smooth
Season with salt and plenty of pepper

It's not quite up there with TheGreatestSoupEverTasted, but I'm getting there. Perhaps if I just add a little sausage, and dill...